MONTY PYTHON'S MODRZEW - Another Monty Python Record: Be A Great Actor

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     AND NOW...
     PŁYTY i TAŚMY
     MONTY  PYTHONA

Another Monty Python Record - 1971

BE A GREAT ACTOR

FIRST ANNOUNCER Terry Jones
SECOND ANNOUNCER Michael Palin
SPENCER Graham Chapman
DONALDSON John Cleese
BELINDA Carol Cleveland

FIRST ANNOUNCER
An now the moment you have been waiting for...

(fanfare)

your chance to be like Sir Lawrence Olivier, Sir Alec Guiness and Laurence Harvey in the privacy of your own living room. Yes all you need is this record and the script supplied with it and you to can be a great actor.

(sinster music is played while the following is spoken)

You will be playing the part of Montague the forceful but disallouished and zany marcists tycoon in this new play by a very good bearded playwright. Other great British and Welsh actors will be playing only minor roles. Now is your big chance just follow the script as we present...

(jaring music)

"A Taste of Evil" staring...

SECOND ANNOUNCER
(whispers)

Insert your name here.

FIRST ANNOUNCER
...as montague

(jaring music).

SECOND ANNOUNCER
A Police Station in Rectan.

SPENCER
Morning, super.

DONALDSON
Morning, wonderful.

SPENCER
Nasty business up at the Towers, sir.

DONALDSON
Oh yes, what's happened?

SPENCER
Montague's shot himself.

DONALDSON
Dead?

SPENCER
Fraid so sir, blood everywhere...

FIRST ANNOUNCER
We apologise for an error in this "Be A Great Actor" in our own living room section of the record owing to an error in the selection of the play the character of Montague does not appear to speak throughout the production. So lets go straight on to number two in your scripts "All Quiet On The Western Front". You are Charles just back from the war and to help you become a great actor a buzzer will go when it is your turn to speak.

(fanfare music)

SECOND ANNOUNCER
"All Quiet On The Western Front", adapted for radio by Jeff Astle and Jean Genet.

(more music)

Episode eight - Charles returns to Barclay Manor.

BELINDA
Oh Charles! Charles! Charles!

YOU
Buzzz

BELINDA
Oh Charles!

YOU
Buzzz

BELINDA
I never thought I'd see you again.

YOU
Buzzz

BELINDA
Oh that's wonderful news... But why? Are you...

YOU
Buzzz

BELINDA
Where?

YOU
Buzzz

BELINDA
Oh no!

YOU
Buzzz

BELINDA
Yes Charles?

YOU
Buzzz

BELINDA
I love you too.

YOU
Buzzz

BELINDA
But What?

YOU
Buzzz

BELINDA
Shot off?

YOU
Buzzz

BELINDA
Completely?

YOU
Buzzz

BELINDA
Oh Charles.

YOU
Buzzz

BELINDA
Charles!

YOU
Buzzz

BELINDA
Charles!

YOU
Buzzz

(fanfare music)

FIRST ANNOUNCERWill Charles ever play football again? Does Ascrith really know what is happening to the chaps in France? And is Belinda such a good...

(buzzer)

as everyone says. Don't miss next weeks exciting episode...

(fade out with more dramtic music)

continue

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