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     AND NOW...
     MONTY PYTHON
     SINGS
Monty Python's World of Music
Wejdź na Modrzew Skocz na Film Droga do Piosenki Abecadło



MONTY PYTHON'S THE MEANING OF LIFE


"THE MEANING OF LIFE"

Author: Eric Idle
Composer: Eric Idle, John Du Prez

Why are we here, what's life
all about?
Is God really real, or is there
some doubt?
Well tonight, we're going to sort it
all out,
For tonight it's the Meaning of Life.

What's the point of all this hoax?
Is it the "chicken and the egg" time,
are we just yolks?
Or perhaps we're just one of God's
little jokes,
Well ca c'est the Meaning of Life.

Is life just a game where we make
up the rules,
While we're searching for
something to say,
Or are we just simply
spiraling coils,
Of self-replicating DNA?

In this life, What is our fate?
Is there a Heaven and Hell?
Do we reincarnate?
Is mankind evolving or is it
too late?
Well tonight, here's the Meaning
of Life.

For millions, this life is a sad
vale of tears,
Sitting round with nothing to say,
While the scientists say we're just
simply spiraling coils,
Of self-replicating DNA.

So just why, why are we here?
And just what, what, what, what
do we fear?
Well ce soir, for a change,
it will all be made clear,
For this is the Meaning of Life
- c'est le sens de la vie,
This is the Meaning of Life


"EVERY SPERM IS SACRED"

Author: Michael Palin, Terry Jones
Composer: David Howman, Andre Jacquemin

DAD:
There are Jews in the world,
There are Buddists,
There are Hindus and Mormons
and then,
There are those that follow
Mohammad,
but I've never been one of them...

I'm a Roman Catholic,
And have been since before
I was born,
And the one thing they say
about Catholics,
Is they'll take you as soon as
you're warm...

You don't have to be a six footer,
You don't have to have a
great brain,
You don't have to have any
clothes on -
You're a Catholic the moment
Dad came...

Because...

Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILDREN:

Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

CHILD:
Let the heathens spill theirs,
On the dusty ground,
God shall make them pay for,
each sperm that can't be found.

CHILDREN:
Every sperm is wanted,
Every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed,
In your neighbourhood.

MUM:
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
Spill theirs just anywhere,
But God loves those who treat their
Semen with more care.


MEN NEIGHBOURS:
Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,


WOMEN NEIGHBOURS:
If a sperm is wasted,
CHILDREN:
God gets quite irate.


PRIEST:
Every sperm is wanted,


BRIDE AND GROOM:
Every sperm is good,


NANNIES:
Every sperm is needed,


CARDINALS:
In your neighbourhood.


CHILDREN:
Every sperm is useful,
Every sperm is fine.

FUNERAL CORTEGE:
God needs everybody's!


FIRST MOURNER:
Mine!

LADY MOURNER:
And mine!

CORPSE:
And mine!

NUN:
Let the Pagan spill theirs,
O'er mountain, hill and plain.


STATUES:
God shall strike them down for
Each sperm that's spilt in vain.


EVERYBODY:
Every sperm is sacred,
Every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

Every sperm is wanted,
Every sperm is good,
Every sperm is needed,
In your neighbourhood.




"O LORD PLEASE DON'T BURN US"


Author: John Cleese, Graham Chapman
Composer: Eric Idle, John Du Prez

O Lord, please don't burn us.
Don't grill or toast Your flock.
Don't put us on the barbecue
Or simmer us in stock.
Don't braise or bake or boil us
Or stir-fry us in a wok.
Oh, please don't lightly poach us
Or baste us with hot fat.
Don't fricassee or roast us
Or boil us in a vat,
And please don't stick Thy servants, Lord,
In a Rotissomat.


"GALAXY SONG"

Author: Eric Idle
Composer: Eric Idle, John Du Prez

Whenever life gets you down,
Mrs. Brown,
and things seem hard or tough,
and people are stupid,
obnoxious or daft
and you feel that you've had quite
eno-o-o-o-o-ough.


Just remember that you're
standing on a planet that's
evolving,
And revolving at nine hundred miles an hour,
It's orbiting at nineteen miles
a second, so it's reckoned,
A sun that is the source of all
our power.
The sun and you and me and all the stars that we can see,
Are moving at a million miles a day
In the outer spiral arm, at fourty thousand
miles an hour,
Of the Galaxy we call the
Milky Way.

Our galaxy itself contains a hundred
billion stars
It's a hundred thousand light years side to side,
It bulges in the middle sixteen thousand light
years thick
But out by us it's just three thousand light
years wide
We're thirty thousand light years from
galactic central point,
We go round every two hundred
million years
And our galaxy is only one of
millions of billions
In this amazing and expanding
Universe.

The universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding
In all of the directions it can whizz
As fast as it can go,
at the speed of light you know,
Twelve million miles a minute, and
that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember when you're feeling
very small and insecure
How amazingly unlikely is
your birth
And pray that there's intelligent
life somewhere up in space
'Cause there's bugger all down
here on Earth.



"PENIS SONG"
(The not Noel Coward song)

Author: Eric Idle
Composer: Eric Idle

Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
Here's a little number
I tossed off recently in the Caribbean.


Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have
a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy,
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger,
To the world's biggest prick.

So three cheers for your Willy
or John Thomas,
Hooray for your one-eyed
trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's
best friend,
Your Percy or your cock,
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.

Oh, thank you very much.


"CHRISTMAS IN HEAVEN"


Author: Terry Jones
Composer: Eric Idle

Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
It's truly a real honourable experience
to be here this evening,
a very wonderful
and warm and emotional moment
for all of us.
And I'd like to sing a song for all...
of you.


It's Christmas in Heaven,
All the children sing,
It's Christmas in Heaven.
Hark hark those church bells ring.

It's Christmas in Heaven.
The snow falls from the sky,
But it's nice and warm,
and everyone
Looks smart and wears a tie.

It's Christmas in Heaven.
There's great films on TV...
"The Sound of Music" twice an hour
And "Jaws" One, Two and Three.

There's gifts for all the family,
There's toiletries and trains...
There's Sony Walkman Headphone sets
And the latest video games!

It's Christmas, It's Christmas in Heaven,
Hip hip hip hip hip hooray,
Every single day
Is Christmas day!

It's Christmas, It's Christmas in Heaven,
Hip hip hip hip hip hooray,
Every single day
Is Christmas day.

BACK TO THE MEANING OF LIFE!

Design: Ireneusz Siwek



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  © 2003 Ireneusz Siwek

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