MONTY PYTHON'S MODRZEW - Another Monty Python Record: The Judges

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     PŁYTY i TAŚMY
     MONTY  PYTHONA

Another Monty Python Record - 1971

THE JUDGES

FIRST JUDGE Michael Palin
SECOND JUDGE Eric Idle
HOST John Cleese
VOLES Michael Palin
WYMISS Eric Idle
MITTELSCHMERZ Graham Chapman

(the sound of a door opening; two judges talking in very camp voices)

FIRST JUDGE
Oh, I love the way you adjorned that court.

SECOND JUDGE
Oh thank you hen. I have had a bitch of a morning on the bench. I could stamp my little feet the way those QC's carry one.

FIRST JUDGE
Don't I know it love.

SECOND JUDGE
Objection here objection there and that nice constable giving that evidence so well. Beautiful speaking voice. Well after a bit there was nothing I could do except bang me gavel.

FIRST JUDGE
You what love?

SECOND JUDGE
I bang me gavel.

FIRST JUDGE
Oh... oh.

SECOND JUDGE
I did the silence in court bit. Oh, if looks could kill that prosecuting councel would be in for thirty years. How did your summing up go?

FIRST JUDGE
Well I was quite pleased actually. Iwas trying to do it in butch voice you know...

(speaks in butch voice)

...what the jury must understand...

(back to camp voice)

...and you know they loved it.

SECOND JUDGE
I know they did.

FIRST JUDGE
I could see that formean eyeing me.

SECOND JUDGE
Really?

FIRST JUDGE
Yes cheecky devil. Anyway I finished up with...

SECOND JUDGE
Ah, was it that tall man with the very big eh...

FIRST JUDGE
No just a minute I must tell you. I finished up with...

(speaks in a butch voice)

...the actions of the viscious men are a violence stain on the community and the full penalty of the law is hardly strong enough to deal with that ghastly crime.

SECOND JUDGE
Super!

FIRST JUDGE
And I waggled my wig just ever so slightly... Oh, it was a stunning event.

SECOND JUDGE
Oh, I bet it was. Remember that time I wore that super striped rue when the manslaughter case.

FIRST JUDGE
Oh, the figure hugger.

SECOND JUDGE
The very figure hugger... yes I got if from Ravel...

(fade out to music)

continue

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