MONTY PYTHON'S MODRZEW - Euro Sex Maniacs

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     AND NOW...
     MONTY PYTHON'S
     FLIEGENDER ZIRKUS

Monty Python's Fliegender Zirkus - 1972

Euro Sex Maniacs

SOCIOLOGIST Graham Chapman
REPORTER John Cleese

(Camera pans over a city, then zooms in on three smartly dressed men)

REPORTER
Arthur Schmidt, top international economist, government adviser on tariff control, lecturer at Hamburg University, author of the Schmidt Plan for Transport Subsidies, simply can't resist a bit on the side.

(Schmidt lunges away from the others and chases a young woman)

Half a chance, and he's away.

(Shot of another businessman)

REPORTER
Norbert Schultz, chairman of thirty-two companies and a brilliant fiscal theoretician, but one glimpse of a bit of tail and you can forget it.

(Schultz chases a woman)

You might not see him for weeks.

(Two men talking in a stair well, while a woman passes)

REPORTER
Professor Thomas Woitkewitsch lectures on Business Studies at the Wurtemburg Institute. Son of the famous industrialist, he's always slipping into someone. Blonde or brunette, if it goes he'll chase it

(Woitkewitsch follows her, undoing his trousers)

(A committee room)

REPORTER
These six men have just produced a controversial report for the Iron and Steel Advisory Committee of the Common Market Secretariat, the most vital decision making body in European politics today.

(A tea lady enters; all six jump her)

They're always at it. Bang, bang, bang. They're worse than rabbits.

(Various shots of buildings, the City etc)

REPORTER
Here in Brussels, headquarters of the Common Market, prices have soared. It now costs ten pounds for half an hour at her flat, and up to twenty pounds for a hotel room with trapeze. In Rome, agricultural experts have spent nearly three weeks having a good time with some ladies, and it's rumoured that when the International Monetary Fund meets next week in London, it'll be pants down and on with the job. Why are so many of these top financial experts so keen to get into bed with young girls, to rub themselves up against bare skin, to put their tongues into other people's mouths, to put their fingers in tight brassieres and to bury their faces in handfuls of underwear? We asked a sociologist.

SOCIOLOGIST

(dressed very strangely, holding a goat)

They're probably just confused.

REPORTER

(to camera)

What exactly is it that makes them want to go to bed with these people, and do these apparently irrational things to them? Is it for tax concessions? Is it allowable expenditure against half-yearly profits? Is it something to do with central heating? Do they eat too much citrus fruit? Whatever the reason, in the light of this, should the Common Market now be cancelled? Has it become just a thin excuse for a multi-national orgy, or is it still a serious attempt to aid the rich? And will tariff cuts bring more trade, or just a higher birth rate? Even as I speak to you now, in this famous Munich bank behind me, there are some people who, seventeen or eighteen times a night...

(A car screeches to a halt, knocking him over out of shot)

Fortsetzung...