| Opis | Wielkość |
|---|
| Scena 1 |
| Wait a minute, supposing two swallows carried it
together? No, they'd have to have it on a line. Well, simple! They'd just use a strand of creeper! | 24K |
| Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? | 8K |
| Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? Not at all, they could be carried. What, a swallow carrying a coconut? It could grip it by the husk. It's not a question of where he grips it, it's a simple question of weight ratios. A five ounce bird could not carry a one pound coconut | 48K |
| Listen, in order to maintain air-speed velocity, a swallow needs to beat
its wings 43 times every second, right? Please! Am I right? I'm not interested! | 30K |
| Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court at Camelot?!
But then of course African swallows are not migratory. Oh, yeah... | 24K |
| Scena 2 |
| Bring out your dead! Bring out your dead! | 16K |
| Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's, they've lost
nine today. | 9K |
| I'm not dead! | 5K |
| I'm getting better! No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment. | 8K |
| I feel happy!! I feel happy!! | 14K |
| Who's that then? I don't know. Must be a king. Why? He hasn't got shit all over him. | 16K |
| Scena 3 |
| Old Woman! Man! Man, sorry. | 9K |
| Well I can't just call you 'man'. Well, you could say 'Dennis'. Well, I didn't know you were called Dennis. Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you? | 16K |
| How do you do, good lady? I am Arthur, King of the Britons. King of the who? The Britons. Who are the Britons? | 17K |
| I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous collective. | 9K |
| Well, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just cause some watery tart threw a sword at you! | 16K |
| We're an anarchosyndaclist commune. | 6K |
| The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the
purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of
the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Arthur, was to
carry Excalibur. That is why I am your king! | 40K |
| Scena 4 |
| You fight with the strength of many men, Sir Knight. | 8K |
| What are you going to do, bleed on me? | 5K |
| This but a scratch. A scratch? Your arm's off! | 11K |
| I move for no man!! | 11K |
| All right, we'll call it a draw. | 5K |
| Chicken! Look, I'll have your leg. Right! | 13K |
| You yellow bastard!! Come back here and take what's coming to you!! | 12K |
| Scena 5 |
| Pie Iesu domine, dona eis requiem. | 56K |
| Did you dress her up like this? No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit. She has got a wart. | 20K |
| She Turned me into a newt. A Newt? I got better. | 15K |
| What do you do with witches? Burn! Burn, burn them up! And what do you burn apart from witches? More witches! Wood! So, why do witches burn? B... 'cause they're made of wood...? Good! | 48K |
| We have found a witch, may we burn her? | 6K |
| What also floats in water? Bread! Apples! Uh, very small rocks! | 16K |
| I'm not a witch, I'm not a witch!! | 8K |
| They dressed me up like this. No we didn't! No! No! And this isn't my nose, it's a false one! | 14K |
| Well, we did do the nose. The nose? And the hat, but she is a witch! | 11K |
| So, how do we tell whether she is made of wood? Build a bridge out of her!! | 13K |
| A duck! Exactly! So, logically... If she weighs the same as a duck, she's made of wood? And therefore? A witch! A witch! A witch! A witch! | 47K |
| Right, remove the supports! A witch! A witch! It's a fair cop. Burn her! Burn her! | 32K |
| The wise Sir Bedevere was the first to join King
Arthur's knights, but other illustrious names were soon to follow:
Sir Launcelot the Brave; Sir Galahad the Pure; and Sir Robin the
Not-quite-so-brave-as-Sir-Launcelot who had nearly fought the
Dragon of Angnor,who had nearly stood up to the viscious Chicken of
Bristol and who had personally wet himself at the Battle of Badon
Hill; and the aptly named Sir Not-appearing-in-this-film. Together
they formed a band whose names and deeds were to be retold
throughout the centuries, the Knights of the Round Table. | 95K |
| Scena 6 |
| And that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be
banana-shaped. This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again
how sheeps' bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes. Oh, certainly, sir. | 28K |
| Look, my liege! Camelot! Camelot!! Camelot!!! It's only a model. Shhhh!! | 14K |
| Scena 7 |
| Good idea oh Lord! Of course it's a good idea!!!! | 8K |
| Every time I try to talk to someone
it's 'sorry this' and 'forgive me that' and 'I'm not worthy'. | 16K |
| Scena 8 |
| Who's castle is this? This is the castle of my master, Guy de Loimbard! | 15K |
| He says they've already got one. Are you sure he's got one? Oh yes, it's very nice!! | 16K |
| Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. | 16K |
| I'm French!! Why do you think I have this outrageous accent you silly king? | 14K |
| What are you doing in England? Mind your own business! | 8K |
| You don't frighten us English pigdogs! | 10K |
| What a strange person. | 5K |
| Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time. | 10K |
| Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries. | 13K |
| Ah, this one is for your mother! | 6K |
| The Frenchmen's raspberry. | 11K |
| Scena 9 |
| Pictures for Schools, take 8.
Action!
Defeat at the castle seems to have utterly disheartened
King Arthur. The ferocity of the French taunting took him
completely by surprise, and Arthur became convinced that a new
strategy was required if the quest for the Holy Grail were to be
brought to a successful conclusion. Arthur, having consulted his
closest knights, decided that they should separate, and search for
the Grail individually. Now, this is what they did... Greg! | 87K |
| Scena 10 |
| Sir Robin meets the 3-headed knight. | 75K |
| Scena 11 |
| Prepare a bed for our guest. Oh, thank you thank you thank you. Away, away vile tesses. | 18K |
| Try to relax. Are you sure that's absolutley necessary? We must examine you. There's nothing wrong with that! Please, we are doctors. | 28K |
| She has been setting a light to our beacon, which I just remembered is grail shaped. | 12K |
| I can defeat them, there's only 150 of them! | 7K |
| We were in the nick of time, you were in great peril. I don't think I was. Yes you were, you were in terrible peril. | 12K |
| Oh, that's an unladen swallow's
flight, obviously. I mean, they were more than two laden swallow's
flights away... four, really, if they had a coconut on a line between
them. I mean, if the birds were walking and dragging. Get on with it! | 29K |
| Scena 12 |
| There is much danger, for beyond the cave lies the Gorge
of Eternal Peril, which no man has ever crossed. | 24K |
| Seek you the Bridge of Death.
The Bridge of Death, which leads to the Grail?
Hee hee ha ha! | 29K |
| Scena 13 |
| Ni!! | 2K |
| Scena 14 |
| Stop that, stop that! You're not going to do a song
while I'm here. | 9K |
| I've built this kingdom up from nothing.
When I started here, all there was was swamp. The king said I was
daft to build a castle in a swamp, but I built it all the same,
just to show 'em. It sank into the swamp. So, I built a second
one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third one. That
burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth
one stayed up. An' that's what your gonna get, lad the strongest
castle in these islands. | 68K |
| Scena 15 |
| Brave, brave Concorde! You shall not have died in vain!
Uh, I'm, I'm not quite dead, sir.
Well, you shall not have been mortally wounded in vain!
Uh, I, I think uh, I could pull through, sir.
Oh, I see. | 37K |
| Scena 16 |
| Oh fair one, behold your humble servant Sir Lancelot of Camelot. I have come to take...oh, I'm terribly sorry. You got my note!! Well, I got a note. You've come to rescue me. Well no, you see, ahhh... I knew someone would!! I knew that somewhere out there, there must be someone... Stop that!!! Stop it!!! Stop it!! Who are you? I'm your son! No, not you! I'm Sir Lancelot sir. He's come to rescue me father. Well, let's not jump to conclusions. Did you all the guards? Ahhhh, oh, yes. | 85K |
| Um, I think when I'm in this idiom, I sometimes get a
bit, uh, sort of carried away. Oh, don't worry about that. Oooh! | 18K |
| Scena 17 |
| Oh, bloody hell. | 3K |
| For, since the tragic death of her
father... He's not quite dead!
Since the near fatal wounding of her father...
He's getting better!
For, since her own father who, when he seemed about to
recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him...
Oh, he's died! | 66K |
| Scena 18 |
| Old crone! Is there anywhere in this town where we could
buy a shrubbery? Who sent you? The Knights who say Ni! Argh, no!! | 44K |
| If you do not tell us where we can buy a shrubbery, my friend and I will say... we will say... Ni!'. Argh! Do your worst! | 27K |
| Ni! No! Never! No shrubs!! | 13K |
| Are you saying "ni" to that old woman? Um, yes. Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say "ni" at will to old ladies. | 26K |
| I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies. | 17K |
| Scena 19 |
| Icky, icky, icky, icky kapang zoop boing. | 12K |
| Summer changed back into Winter. And Winter gave Spring and Summer a miss and went straight on into Autumn. | 22K |
| Scena 20 |
| To the north there lies a cave. The cave of Caerbannorg wherein, carved in mystic runes upon the very living rock, the
last words of Ulfin Bedweer of Rheged... make plain the last resting place of the most Holy Grail. | 50K |
| Scena 21 |
| Right! Keep me covered. What with? Just keep me covered. | 14K |
| That rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide, it's a killer! Get stuffed!!! | 14K |
| 'First shalt thou take out
the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less.
Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the
counting shalt be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either
count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is
right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be
reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards
thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.' | 89K |
| Scena 22 |
| As the horrendous Black Beast lunged forward, escape for Arthur and his knights seemed hopeless. When, suddenly, the animator suffered a fatal heart attack. The cartoon peril was no more. The Quest for Holy Grail could continue. | 42K |
| Scena 23 |
| He asks each traveller five questions... Three questions. Three questions. He who answers the five questions... Three Questions.
Three questions may cross in safety. What if you get a question wrong? Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril.
Oh, I won't go. | 43K |
| What is your name? My name is Sir Launcelot of Camelot. What is your quest? To seek the Holy Grail. | 22K |
| What is your name? Sir Robin of Camelot. What is your quest? To seek the Holy Grail. What is the capital of Assyria? I don't know that! Arrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! | 51K |
| What is your favorite color?
Blue. No yel... Auuuuuuuugh!
Heh heh. | 30K |
| What do you mean, an African or a European swallow? | 8K |
| How do you know so much about swallows? | 7K |
| Scena 24 |
| Almighty God, we thank Thee that Thou hast vouchsafed to us the most holy... Jesus Christ! Allo, daffy English kniggets and Monsieur Arthur-King, who has the brain of a duck, you know! | 47K |
| I wave my private parts at your aunties! | 8K |
| French persons! Today the blood of many a valiant knight shall be avenged.
| 18K |
© 2003 Ireneusz Siwek