MONTY PYTHON'S MODRZEW - International Philosophy

Jeśli masz mózg wielkości tic-taca i lubisz głupio chichotać, pooglądaj sobie, bo mógłbyś robić coś gorszego.

     AND NOW...
     MONTY PYTHON'S
     FLIEGENDER ZIRKUS

Monty Python's Fliegender Zirkus - 1972

International Philosophy

FOOTBALL COMMENTATOR Michael Palin

(Aerial view of München Olympic stadium)

FOOTBALL COMMENTATOR
Good afternoon, and welcome to a packed Olympic stadium, München...

CAPTION:
INTERNATIONALE PHILOSOPHIE
Rückspiel

FOOTBALL COMMENTATOR
...for the second leg of this exciting final.

(German philosophers jog out of the dressing room)

And here come the Germans now, led by their skipper, "Nobby" Hegel. They must surely start favourites this afternoon; they've certainly attracted the most attention from the press with their team problems. And let's now see their line-up.

CAPTION:
DEUTSCHLAND
1 LEIBNITZ
2 I. KANT
3 HEGEL
4 SCHOPENHAUER
5 SCHELLING
6 BECKENBAUER
7 JASPERS
8 SCHLEGEL
9 WITTGENSTEIN
10 NIETZSCHE
11 HEIDEGGER

(High shot of Germans jogging onto pitch)

FOOTBALL COMMENTATOR
The Germans playing 4-2-4, Leibniz in goal, back four Kant, Hegel, Schopenhauer and Schelling, front-runners Schlegel, Wittgenstein, Nietzsche and Heidegger, and the mid-field duo of Beckenbauer and Jaspers. Beckenbauer obviously a bit of a surprise there.

(Greek philosophers, all in togas, jog from the dressing room)

FOOTBALL COMMENTATOR
And here come the Greeks, led out by their veteran centre-half, Heraclitus.

CAPTION:
GRIECHENLAND
1 PLATO
2 EPIKTET
3 ARISTOTELES
4 SOPHOKLES
5 EMPEDOKLES VON ACRAGA
6 PLOTIN
7 EPIKUR
8 HERAKLIT
9 DEMOKRIT
10 SOKRATES
11 ARCHIMEDES

(High shot of Greeks jogging onto pitch, kicking balls about etc)

FOOTBALL COMMENTATOR
Let's look at their team. As you'd expect, it's a much more defensive line-up. Plato's in goal, Socrates a front- runner there, and Aristotle as sweeper, Aristotle very much the man in form. One surprise is the inclusion of Archimedes.

(An oriental referee, holding a large sandglass, walks down the centre line, flanked by two linesmen with haloes)

FOOTBALL COMMENTATOR
Well here comes the referee, K'ung fu-tsze (Confucius), and his two linesmen, St Augustine and St Thomas Aquinas.

(Referee spots the ball and the captains shake hands)

And as the two skippers come together to shake hands, we're ready for the start of this very exciting final. The referee Mr Confucius checks his sand and...

(referee blows his whistle)

they're off!

(The Germans immediately turn away from the ball, hands on chins in deep contemplation)

Nietzsche and Hegel there. Karl Jaspers number seven on the outside, Wittgenstein there with him. There's Beckenbauer. Schelling's in there, Heidegger covering. Schopenhauer.

(Pan to the other end, the Greeks also thinking deeply, occasionally gesticulating)

And now it's the Greeks, Epicurus, Plotinus number six. Aristotle. Empedocles of Acragus and Democratus with him. There's Archimedes. Socrates, there he is, Socrates. Socrates there, going through.

(The camera follows Socrates past the ball, still on the centre spot)

There's the ball! There's the ball. And Nietzsche there. Nietzsche, number ten in this German side.

CAPTION:
DEUTSCHLAND - GRIECHENLAND 0 : 0

FOOTBALL COMMENTATOR
Kant moving up on the outside. Schlegel's on the left, the Germans moving very well in these opening moments.

Fortsetzung...