MONTY PYTHON'S MODRZEW - Mouse Reserve-Fish Park

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     AND NOW...
     MONTY PYTHON'S
     FLIEGENDER ZIRKUS

Monty Python's Fliegender Zirkus - 1972

Mouse Reserve
Fish Park

MINISTER Eric Idle
MOUSEBOY Terry Jones
TUTANKHAMUN Terry Jones
VOICE-OVER Terry Jones
PRESENTER Eric Idle
MRS WEISS ?

(Shots of wooded mountain scenery)

VOICE-OVER
Here, in his four thousand acre nature reserve in Southern Bavaria, Frank Tutankhamun has dedicated his life to preserving mice. We spoke to his nearby neighbour, Mrs Betty Weiss.

MRS WEISS
(a Germanic pepperpot)

Hallo.

VOICE-OVER
Hallo. Mr Tutankhamun claims that his eight white mice roam in these mountains and hills.

TUTANKHAMUN
Well, there's one over there, there's two of the little fellows on this plateau here, and I think "Old Squeaky" is up on that mountain there.

VOICE-OVER
Many wildlife preservationists have questioned the need for preserving eight mice on these four thousand acres, when there are over sixty million of them in nearby Stuttgart alone.

PRESENTER
(back in studio)

Just be another few minutes.

VOICE-OVER
(A Land Rover drives along a country track)

But Mr Tutankhamun is undaunted by criticism, and has recently opened a National Fish Park - six hundred acres of pasture and woodland,

(we can see dead fish suspended from trees)

where cod and herring can wander freely. Visitors can drive through the reserve and look at the fish

(a passenger in the Land Rover takes a photo)

- provided of course they don't leave their cars. The fish wardens work hard,

(a man in scuba gear steps out of undergrowth near a "FISCHPARK" sign)

but so far this year the Fish Park has only had six visitors, less than most other zoos; indeed, less than most private houses. We asked the Peruvian Minister of Pensions why this was.

(A yucca-laden office)

CAPTION:
PERUANISCHER PENSIONSMINISTER

MINISTER
Er, well... I suppose it may be...

CAPTION:
LIVE AUS LIMA

MINISTER
...er... because...

VOICE-OVER
He hadn't a clue. But it's mice that are the big business here.

(Three cowboys /mouseboys/ ride out of "BIG PIEPS RANCH")

And every Monday, Frank Tutankhamun rides out to count his herd. He takes with him three of his most tough and hardened mouseboys. This is mouse country, where a man can ride for days and days without seeing his aunty. But, suddenly they're in luck. Frank has spotted a mouse and the chase is on.

(One of the mouseboys /Terry G/ throws a lasso. We see a lassoed mouse. The mouseboy is pulled from his horse by the rope.)

If it's a mouse Frank hasn't seen before, it's taken back to the ranch, broken in by a mouseboy, and branded with a big "S".

(Two mouseboys hold down a mouse. A third approaches with a brand, obviously several times the size of the mouse, and applies it)

(Exterior of "DER SCHNUCKELIGE PLÜSCHTIER SALOON" /The Cute Cuddly Toy Saloon/; honky-tonk piano music. A mouseboy is ejected, dusts himself down, takes a saddle from the rail, places it over one of three tethered mice and straddles it. He looks up; we hear a thunder of hooves /paws?/ approaching. He runs back into the saloon.)

MOUSEBOY
Hey, mouseboys! There's a mouse stampede!

(All run out side and stare in horror)

(Animation of mouse stampede)

Fortsetzung...